Sunday, 22 November 2015

Hurdles - what hurdles?

This is not the ‘best’ photo of me at the Leadership in Running Fitness (LiRF) course I went to in Bromley yesterday. But it reminded me that a couple of years ago someone who's opinion I respected told me that I was the type of person who could, did, and would leap over life’s hurdles, even those where other people would chicken out. And yesterday, I went over one. Well, quite a few actually, but now I’m a qualified Run Leader. Get me!!!!

Thank you
Thank you to everyone who sponsored and supported me on this first step towards the vision “to explore the possibility of leading small running groups to help those who may be struggling to manage their own mental health, particularly depression and suicidal thoughts.”
Just to say, the course was amazing. There was lots of cross-over with my teaching qualification actually, lots of grounding in practical exercises, and plenty of access to resources to develop your own sessions. Any runners out there who want to join me in this thing, get yourself on that course (it’s just a day).

Back to Hurdles
Can I just point out that I’m not really much of a masochist, I would often prefer to be in a hot bath or back home in the comfort of my jammies, just like everyone else. If I hide long enough, maybe it will go away. Can you relate? Someday I’ll work out why it’s so much more fulfilling to get out there and jump the hurdle. In the mean time I can just assure you that it feels sooooooo good when you’ve done it.

Now I’m pretty sure I’ve got some hum-dingers lined up in front of me in the next year or two, and I’ll be relying on my friends and family and mostly my God to help me get me over them. But I promise you that one way or another, I will get over them.

Over to you
What about you? What are your hurdles? I'll be starting up a local running group shortly, more detail later, but feel free to facebook me for info. You may be thinking yes I’d really like to see what the heck Jacky is on about, why running rocks, why it's so good for mental and physical health. But….

o   I don’t usually get up for 9am
o   I’d be afraid of finding the venue for the first time
o   I’m scared of coming on my own
o   I don’t want to speak in case I say something stupid
o   Everyone else will think I’m fat, slow, tall, short, old, young, stupid ETC ETC
o   I’m frightened of meeting new people

D’ya know what?

I thought every single one of those things yesterday. I did yesterday's course so that I can show you that you can do it too.

Need help? I can give you help. Need someone to believe in you? I believe in you. Need someone just to show you how to get there? I can do that!

Please, come and run with me.

Sunday, 8 November 2015

Happiness is....?

Something strange happened to me today: - I felt happy, really completely supremely happy. 

And it was a good feeling, but if I’m honest, not one I’m used to. I mean I’ve often felt positive, like say, when the sun’s shining, or when I’m enjoying good food or from getting a kick out of some genius magic I’ve worked with data and stats at work.

But this morning was different, a feeling of absolute happiness, smiling but from the inside. Maybe you could even call it euphoria.

Of course I was running. It started just after half way through a 10 mile run this morning. I dragged my sorry butt out of bed with, let’s say, maybe 5 out of 10 enthusiasm. Not sure you can ask much more of me at 6am on a Sunday morning! I always take a while to warm up, but at about 6 miles I felt the natural happy drugs kick in. By 9 miles, back on the prom, I looked out to sea and felt a million dollars. In fact I spread my arms out wide (think Titanic, ‘King of the world’) and sang ‘Wide wide as the ocean’ like a loon (it’s an old Sunday school song). Yes, there were other people on the prom by then J. But I felt so good!

How did I get from the darkness a couple of months ago to here? What was the journey from A to B? If I could bottle it for people who feel sadness and wish they weren’t here, I seriously would. I know very well what that feels like.

A few weeks ago, someone fired an arrow and it hit me in the very most sensitive place in my life. It was a good thing, I don’t know how it happened really, but it hit me in the depths of my soul and undid me, unraveled me.

So then I didn’t know what do with that. I’d given up alcohol, but then there was nothing else to deal with the pain I’d been covering up. Seriously what do you do with emotions????? Mine seem strong. Frustration, anger, joy, enthusiasm, hurts, hatred (the one I most fear) and love. I don’t know, all sorts. What do you DO with all that????

I’ll tell you what you do.
  • You pray – because God’s love is wide enough and deep enough
  • YOU RUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!  - because serotonin works.
I have so much more that I’d like to write, this is so brief and inadequate.

Mostly, if you’re at A, let me tell you that you can get to B, you can get out of the mud, you can shake off the dirt, and you can run into a life in all its fullness.

Please, let me take you for a run!